Sunday, January 25, 2009

HftL Rates All-Star "Skills"

All week HftL covered the starters of today's All-Star game and yesterday the skills competition was held, so now HftL is going to "kiss and tell" by going through the winners and rating their skill (by a hotness factor scale of 1 - 10; 10 being SUPER FLAMING HOT)!

Then, taking all of the winners of the skills competition into consideration and ranking them based on various factors of skill, hotness and ratings that we plugged into a specially designed equation to calculate an "ultimate" of all six of these skilled all-stars, HftL has come up with a the first ever (and hopefully annual) "HftL's 2009 ULTIMATE SUPER SEXY ALL-STAR MVP."

EVENT 1 - Fastest Skater
All-Star: Andrew Cogliano (Edmonton Oilers)
How He Rates (8; speed is super sexy) - Cogliano was the sixth and final skater to take part and topped the other five skaters with a time of 14.31 seconds (not to mention Cogliano is a sophomore player beating out players who have been in the business longer).

EVENT 2 - NHL Fan Fav Breakaway Challenge
All-Star: Alexander Ovechkin (Washington Capitals)
How He Rates (N/A) - I'm sorry -- I have to skip this one simply because I think he's an ass and I wouldn't even think twice about touching that with a 10-foot pole let alone rating it (besides the fact that taking advantage of our humble, shy-sexy Star Malkin is beyond unforgiveable)!!! And over confidence and a desire to make yourself the center of attention just bores a lady to death -- NOTHING sexy about that (KILLS the mood quickly)!!

EVENT 3 - YoungStars Game
All-Star: Rookies
How They Rate (9; dominating someone more experienced is always HOT) - the game consisted of three periods of six minutes each and the rookies dominated through all three periods winning the game 9-5 (sophomore goalie Carey Price was pretty much a non-factor in the game); Rookie Blake Wheeler of the Boston Bruins was named MVP for having a hat trick and two assists in the game.

EVENT 4 - Accuracy Shooting
All-Star: Evgeni Malkin (Pittsburgh Penguins)
How He Rates (9.5; because Malkin is HOT no matter what, but 10 appears to be too unfair and biased!) - during the first round, Malkin was initially credited with getting 4 hits in 5 shots; however, he actually hit all four targets on his first try (he just narrowly sliced one of the targets) and they eventually credited him 4 hits in 4 shots; he beat out Dany Heatley of the Ottawa Senators in the second round after hitting 3 hits in 4 shots when Heatley only hit 2 of the targets; the only other players that were just as skilled hitting 4 in 4 shots are Ray Bourque (1992, 1993), Mark Messier (1996), and Jeremy Roenick (2004).

EVENT 5 - Hardest Shot
All-Star: Zdeno Chara (Boston Bruins)
How He Rates (8; strength is manly and charity is plain adorable, but Chara is an overgrown dork) - 105.3 mph shot (what else needs said?!); although it is worth mentioning that Chara decided to "up the ante" when he challenged the other five players in this competition to raise money for a selected charity by putting $1,000 each in the "pot;" their respective teams added to it by also donating $1,000 as well as the NHL and NHLPA matching the players pot with $6,000 each bringing the grand total of $24,000 which was ultimately donated to Chara's charity, Right to Play.

EVENT 6 - NHL Elimination Shoot Out
All-Star: Shane Doan (Phoenix Coyotes)
How He Rates (10; outlasting the competition always puts a man on top, but seeing him interact with his young daughter deserves a 10 no matter what in any lady's book!) - Doan won the challenge by hitting the net on five out of seven attempts beating out Marc Savard and scoring on three of the four goalies - Henrik Lundqvist, Niklas Backstrom, and Jean-Sebastien Giguere. And did you catch him with his daughter and how BOTH of their eyes lit up with a smile everytime he'd skate back to the bench [*swoon*]?!!

And HftL's ULTIMATE SUPER SEXY ALL-STAR for 2009 is (no contest, ladies!) ....


25superstar said...

geno is a beast
ovie can go die

71crush said...

Yes I had mixed emotions about it too but I decided that if Geno is having fun its okay I guess. Plus we got lots more Geno love from the media b/c of it. I'm so proud of him winning the accuracy!! There is another video of his post winning with Christine Simpson at Pensblog if anyone is interested. :)

swissmiss said...

I would give Geno a tie for sexy start with a 10 , here are my reasons:
-ok it's obvious he's HOT
- his humbleness: pre competition interview he was like, there's no way I can win that, I'm not the best, etc etc, and yet, he did
- being taking 'advantage' of in my opinion by OV for his media stunt. yes Geno looked like he was so relaxed and having fun and for that, it's cool, but you know the guy is so kind hearted he would never have said no, so he gets points for participating in it!

swissmiss said...

oh and wait, how can i forget my last point - his english interviews!

Stephanie said...

@ 25superstar - well said!

@ 71crush - good points; I was so excited when he won and he is SO VERY humble (which makes him even more adorable)!!

@ swissmiss - also good points; my first instinct was to give Geno a 10, but again, I didn't want to be accused of "playing favorites" (which I probably should be proud to do since I'm a hardcore Pens fan and it is my blog after all!)!! And I do love the fact that you can tell that he has such a great heart (and MUST be very forgiving)!! Lastly, he is getting so much better with the English language and you know he's taking being a Pen very seriously which gives him major cred (and keeps him high on the HOTNESS factor scale!)!!

EVERYONE - I hope you don't think I was "bashing" or being unfair to Malkin because that's the last thing I would do / be; I LOVE ALL of our boys (even past players like Kovi) - although I may be "partial" to some ; ) - but this blog is meant to be fun and the post was an attempt to be light-hearted and funny and only one lady's opinion (which is why I LOVE this blog and my readers, I get all kinds of opinions and perspectives that I may not have thought of otherwise!)!!

THANKS for all the great comments - keep them comin'!!

Life_As_A_Redhead said...

OK, I caved. I wasn't going to read this until, I could watch part of it. (sue me, I have very little self control [hysterical laughter])

This is EPIC!!!!

My votes for hottest.

Malkin - 2
Doan - 1

I've always liked Doan, anyway. I'm glad the rest of you ladies are getting a "shot" of him.